About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
