redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
