At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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