Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
