Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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