the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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