he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
