everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
