Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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