she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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