I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
