You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
