Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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