Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
