I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
