Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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