so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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