woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There r osticjed everywhere
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
