never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize