Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize