it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
