Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
