Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize