Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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