Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
