Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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