walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
