wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this will be a night to untag.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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