sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize