I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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