girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
