Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
