Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
