She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
