Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
