I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
