I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
