We're facebook friends in real life
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
