have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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