Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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