I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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