i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we should paint friendship bongs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
