What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
