New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
