Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
