I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
