dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
