They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All the doctor said was why
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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