Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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