I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
