how can u be prego again
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize