dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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