Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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