sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The beer is more important than you right now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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