Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize