Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
