Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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