you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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