I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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