All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
