Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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